Late night blogging/ranting:

Recently I have grown to have a strict distaste for apathy and ignorance. Before, I used to only despise ignorance, and pity those with apathy. But in these past few weeks I have realized that apathy is deadly, and terrible. I recognize it in people that I used to hold very dear to me, and I understand now that I should have cast them away. Because I need to be strong- for my family. For me. And for the people who can’t be. I might be small but that won’t limit me. I might not be as smart as the rest but that won’t hold me back. Apathy would, though. And to me it seems contagious. Once someone stops caring the others do too. I can’t stop caring. I have two younger, forever vulnerable siblings to look after. So, from here on out- I am eliminating people from my life who drag me down. For me, yes, but mostly for my brother and sister. Because someday they will need me and I will have to care- immensely. As I have been doing, even in the face of hatred and ignorance. My parents need me to have this strength, I am their only “normal” child, I will be the legal guardian, I will make the tough choices. 
So hear this, lazy, sad, people. You are lazy and sad because of you. All preexisting coniditions aside- you have the luxury to be lazy. To not keep yourself on guard. The luxury of time and comfort and love and easiness. And I realize that I don’t want those luxuries- those things taint you. They make you terrible. They make you apathetic. 
And that is one of the only things in life that I will not be.

You are not like me. You are not like others.
You do not have to be a guardian. 
 
So next time someone backs down, next time someone gets to cop out- next time someone close to me stops caring about their lives and other peoples lives- count me out. Count me out of knowing you. 
There are others, in this world, who must look after the weak. I am not bold or brave or strong, and I didn’t chose this fate. I, sadly, was born into it. And I will not run, in my eyes there is only one choice.
And I wish other people could understand my fierce care for the disabled, the beaten, and the damned. Because I swear, the next time I hear some kid making fun of someone for any physical or mental difference- they will not hear the end of it. I don’t care if I am weak, it is my duty to defend.